Civil War Op-Ed

There was a great editorial in the New York Times (NYT) yesterday about the Civil War. I'm embarrassed at how little I know about our country's history in that regard. I'm going to read about it now. I would love any recommendations on good books to get me started. All I really know right now I learned from Gone with the Wind and the Ken Burns mini-series (which I was transfixed by, and still am haunted by the music and the letters).

Ft Jackson Pics

A bruise from my rigger's belt;

Another sailor and I in full "battle rattle" (aka body armor);

Me in my gas mask;

M16 and M9;

Sunset at Fort Jackson (the best part of every day).

Fort Jackson

I've been in Fort Jackson for two weeks now - the end is near. We expect to fly out of the country Thursday. What to say about Fort Jackson... well, this is really the first time in the past two weeks where I have had the time and mental clarity to actually sit and write for a few minutes about my experiences. My major takeaway from my time at Fort Jackson is I am glad I never joined the Army. That's not a slam on the Army in general, just that it would not be a good fit for me. Let me rewind... Fort Jackson is the military training for Navy individual augmentees (those who aren't deploying with their unit), and it is run by the Army. We live on an Army post, eat in the DFAC (dining facility), and have Army drill sergeants. One of the strangest things about this place: the training is for all ranks, enlisted and officer. And (at least for the females), we live in the same open-bay barracks. This doesn't sound like that big of a deal from a civilian perspective, but it's a really rare thing (especially for the Navy) to have an O-5 sleeping on the bottom rack with an E-3 on the top rack, and sharing a head (aka latrine or bathroom). I didn't expect the training to be such a time-suck; our first muster is usually at 0515 and we don't usually secure for the night until 1830 or so (6:30 pm). There are rarely any breaks, although there is an astounding amount of "hurry up and wait." We literally sit somewhere for two hours, doing nothing, then all of a sudden the drill sergeants come over and start yelling for us to hurry up and get on the bus in 2 mins. One, we're not in boot camp. Two, why not tell us 2 hrs ago (or 10 mins) that we have to be on the bus by X time? Three, there are no consequences for our tardiness and we all know it. The vast majority of the drill sergeants have been phenomenal (and all of the civilian contractors); they are knowledgeable, patient, and respectful. There are a few, however, who just don't get it. They think we're recruits and/or they're AFU (all f'd up).

What have we been doing? We have learned combat first aid, how to handle the M16 and M9, land navigation, IEDs, convoy ops, humvee rollovers, cultural awareness/sensitivity, and a bunch of other stuff. We spend the vast majority of our time learning about and firing the M16 and M9. I feel 100% more confident than when I arrived in South Carolina, so mission accomplished there. As far as my marksmanship, I've surprised myself at how well I've done. If I practiced (and didn't have to wear body armor), I think I would be pretty decent. Which brings me to my second least favorite part of Ft. Jackson: body armor. That stuff is heavy and hard to move in, and I would bet that I've worn it more in the past two weeks than I am likely to in the next year. I could be wrong, but that would be my guess. My least favorite part of my time here: lack of privacy. I am a pretty solitary person; I don't like to be around people just for the sake of being around people. I very much enjoy my time alone, actually. Living in open-bay barracks and doing everything with 100 other people is the most maddening part of this experience. To combat that I created a little cave for myself out of my bottom bunk; I took two sheets and made curtains so that I have a modicum of privacy. I also tend to wander off as far as possible whenever possible and read to myself. It's funny though; people assume you don't want to be alone, despite all evidence to the contrary. I have intentionally sat by myself at meals and inevitably someone comes up to join me, as if to save me from the high school humiliation of sitting alone. I always welcome them because their intentions are good and I don't want to offend them, but if I'm sitting alone, it's almost always because I want to be alone.

I think I mentioned this in my posts about NMPS, but I've been the victim of proselytizing again. When the chaplain here first spoke to us at the in-brief, I was cool with him. He got up, introduced himself, provided the information on how to contact him and when services were, and sat back down. That was cool. Then a few days later he gave a lecture on dealing with combat stress (again, why the chaplain does this befuddles me; it's offensive to those of us who believe in reality and not fantasy - let the chaplain provide optional services for the believers, and have an actual counselor or therapist or doctor come in and talk about how to cope with combat stress, PTSD, etc.). Although I don't think it's appropriate that he was giving the lecture, he wasn't getting all churchy like the last chaplain in Norfolk, but then toward the end, he started talking about "one true god" and other jesus-y stuff like that. This crap shouldn't be part of mandatory briefs!!! I don't know what to do about all of this chaplain stuff, but I want to do something. It's totally unacceptable to me that we're getting preached to (and even prayed at) during mandatory briefs. Okay, vent over for now. I'll post some pics and write more later (maybe not until Kuwait or Baghdad, but hopefully sooner).

NMPS - Days Two and Three

Day Two of NMPS was short and frustrating. I had to show up earlier than most (0600) for a pregnancy test (a simple blood draw that could have been done the day before), and attend another brief by the chaplain, only this time it was supposed to be about dealing with combat stress. I was prayed at again; it's so inappropriate to have prayers in a mandatory group setting like that. Other than that, I couldn't get medically cleared until they received the results of my pregnancy test, and I had everything else done, so I was done for the day. There was no reason I couldn't have done the pregnancy test the day before so that the results were ready on Day Two, but that didn't happen, so I was done for the day by about 0830. The upside is that my mom was still in town, so I got to spend the whole day with her, which was awesome. We just hung out, shopped at the NEX, got our nails done, got a nice bottle of wine, pizza, and watched a movie. This morning (Day Three) mom got up with me while I got ready and dropped me off at the NMPS building. I thought I would have lost it (I have a tendency to get emotional when it comes to my mom... not exactly rare), but we both held it together and kept a positive attitude.

Day Three of NMPS was infinitely more exciting and productive than Day Two. I'm not pregnant (yay!), got medically cleared, updated my CAC card, received my dog tags, got fit for and received my gas mask, got a power of attorney, and attended three briefs. I was reluctant to attend the two afternoon briefs (Navy and Marine-Corps Relief Society and Fleet and Family Support), but they were actually somewhat entertaining at least, and if not educational, they reminded me of some things that I wanted to get done before leaving. The morning brief by the SAVI (now the SARP) was another story. It's a cliche, but the "victim advocate" who gave the brief presented a bunch of misinformation from her completely biased perspective. The problem with some of these people (not all, but a lot of them) and their misinformation is that it leads to the following situation: SAVI tells young sailors that "if a girl is drunk, she can't consent." The SAVI meant that if a girl is so drunk that she is incapacitated - i.e., unable to consent, then it is rape (even then not necessarily; if the guy reasonably believed she was able to consent, it's not rape). What happens though is this: young sailor gets drunk (not incapacitated - just drunk) and has sex. Next morning, regretting her indiscretion, she tells her friend (another sailor who had been in the SAVI's brief) that she was drunk and had sex, "but didn't really want to." Her friend, because of the training from SAVI and her instinctual protectiveness, tells her: "you were raped!" The girl then internalizes that and begins to believe that she was actually raped. This happens time and time again - especially in the military where the incentives are different than in the civilian world. From fraternization, underage drinking, to adultery, etc., (not to mention the biggie: plain old buyer's remorse) there are a multitude of reasons why a sailor would be more susceptible to believe they were raped in this situation - it's most likely not even a conscious process. The problem, however, is that this misinformation leads to many of these false accusations (however well-intended or sincerely held the beliefs are), and the more false accusations there are, the harder it is for actual victims to get help and to get justice. Argghh... I needed to get that out - I was about to rip my hair out during the brief itself.

Tomorrow we get our uniforms... is it totally lame that I'm excited?

NMPS - Day One

Today was the first day of NMPS. I flew into Norfolk late last night from San Diego - I took advantage of the long weekend to go see the boy in the real world one last time. I'm dreading the final goodbye; I keep imagining a teary farewell in a McDonald's parking lot on an Army post in BFE South Carolina. Not sure where that image came from, but it's there and it's vivid.

So far my impression of NMPS is mixed. In some ways it is efficient and as pain-free as something like this can be, but in some ways it is unbelievably cumbersome. The problem (as many have noted before) is that some people show up completely prepared, and some completely unprepared. There are no real distinctions made between the two groups, so for those of us who did everything possible before arriving, we have to just sit there for hour upon hour with nothing better to do than point out the minor inaccuracies and errors committed by the site staff. It's probably not fair, but then again, is it too much to ask to have forms that aren't 6 years out of date?

For anyone going to NMPS in the future who wants to get an idea of what to expect, I'll relay what I remember from today while it's fresh. 1) Bring medical and dental records, and eyeglass prescription; 2) have your command complete the necessary deployment forms (I didn't involve my command - my ding - so I had to scramble to get a form filled out, scanned to them, then scanned back and turned in); 3) complete and bring copies of all immunizations, physicals, pap smears, etc. (this sounds redundant with your medical record, but don't rely on your medical providers to enter this stuff, especially if you're doing it in the weeks and months leading up to your deployment); 4) there was a chaplain brief - if that's your thing, cool. If not, pull out your reading material while you endure a group prayer (seriously); 5) legal brief; and 6) uniform fitting (you should know what size t-shirts and navy sweats you want when you get there - you don't get to try those on).

At the end of the day, this was the first day of my adventure. I know it's cliche, but that's the way I'm looking at this deployment. Today my attitude was lacking, so tomorrow I need to just go with the flow more; luckily I have my mom here for a couple more days to ground me and comfort me (which was sooo awesome tonight: thank you mom!). Tomorrow I and some other "lucky ladies" have to show up earlier than the rest of the group to get pregnancy tests, so I'm off to sleep, but the adventure has begun.